Book I - Page 8

I meet Altair who was with some hooded tiefling I later found out was called Vetch, Altair, how ever spoiled my fun at him not knowing my name at first. Vetch was very flirtatious and I just might have found one of the seven. Because the way he shamelessly offered up himself, which is something I really like, a man not afraid to show that he is interested to say the least.

Sigil slang especially from Altair and that towering warrior Kelt still eludes me at times, so hard to understand what the blood hells they are talking about.

I get Altair to drink with me; Vetch unfortunately does not want to play along. This is the time when I was introduced to silver bullets and well normally alcohol doesn’t really affect me much so maybe it was just that awful after burn, that left me a little lightheaded or maybe it was Vetch massive passes, he placed in between almost every sentence.

I was a little caught by the nothing that he is going to be a father… I myself have never thought about that I see how the succubi treat theyr young and I really could not see myself with a child. When one has not been born then how does one give life? And with all the things I have been trough how would I even fare with a child?

No forget about that silly notion…

But I am happy for him if this is something he wishes. Wonder if there will be time for more walks if a little one comes around.

Altair starts to get really drunk but I couldn’t hep notice he dosent like to back down from a challenge. This could have become very interesting had his mate Klatia not come by and dragges him home or well maybe that was actually for the best.

Laz comes by as Tia is dragging Altair home and it got a little harder to keep my focus. I eyed that he had the golden flask with him and it really pleased me.. Don’t really know why though.

Vetch introduced me to the Grails; Deltana and Xander. Quite an interesting couple. Semms that Xander had already noticed me with Untaramar. Wonder it is because of him or me?


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Book I - Page 7

If that child of a vaporighu does not learn to stitch her lips when around me.. She will loose them...

If Hekete does not learn her place when around me. My master will lose one of his toys... She was lucky that Laz was distracting my thoughts. So after borrowing the silver whip once more I headed of. I was indeed not sure he would come even though he pleaded me for the meeting.

I told him to find me at the lower wards. When He found me I went through the portal towards Brazz
and he followed. Good thing he was stronger this time but I knew the heat was still unpleasant to him.. also why I choose to go there...

When we got there we talked about a lot of the things that has happened

The bathing seems to almost have become some sort of ritual.. But then again with all that blood it just seems prudent.

He told me more of his curse and all this with his master. It is funny how he keeps fearing my reaction to his darker... pleasures

Well at least this cycle ended better than the last and indeed so much more pleasant. So for now I will pretend there is no motive behind any of us for this... But just this once...

I dont know why I find it sweet that Laz asked to have some of my blood for his hunger, cause I know the dangers of him having both my blood and the feathers...

Well that is a worry for another day


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Book I - Page 6

By all the nine layers of hell to be so rude... He didn't even want to listen... Saying he knew the source and he didn't know me. He was only afraid that I might be right or maybe that I would heard the person?
Well it being a blood sucker narrows the field, now to find out which one and pray the goddess I am the stronger one...

Well the rumors could have been true if the chance had presented itself, Like Laz he is one of the few I have meet down here that interest me... There is something more...

Only a little handful of all I have met so fare has sparked that interest and most of them I cannot touch for the time being. I need to know the city better, I need to gain allies and maybe even friends?

Laz again did not show.. Why do I keep getting goated like this.. Why do I even give he the extra consideration?

Later when he finds out about my ire against his kin, he was sure as night fast enough to want to see me... Again sitting alone waiting.. again the sting of rejection...
This is the last time I will let him play me for a fool, the last. I cannot go around killing because my rage takes over... I have spent so long getting all these emotions in check... Emotions I did not posses before my fall... Rage, Desire, Lust, Envy.. Pride

And now it seems I am loosing my control over them.. I am slipping...

But he has made me remember some of the feelings that were so precious to me before, he has given me back a little piece of what I once was... And I can only be grateful for that though it will properly end up being my demise.

I promised I would not kill any of his kin before we had  had a chance to talk... Depending on him I hope I can keep that promise...

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Book I - Page 2

It has been some very diverse couple of cycles

Laz bumped into me and asked me to come with him. He took me to a place near the gatehouse, where there was a small campsite at the lake.
It is strange with him curse and those wounds. What I have researched about vampires contradicts it.

The lake or well water in general is a good idea I have learned for when I am alone with him. It makes it so much easier to remove all those bandages and was away all the blood.

It thrills me when he reverts to that dark and primal being underneath the mask of his human bonds.
But this time he made a mistake... He broke my wing when he slammed me against the rock...
I am still not sure what happened next, it is as if my memories are clouded by a crimson haze, but burning him was more of a reaction than anything i mean to do. My rage took over and it seemed to only edge him on...

Funny how we seem to end in these very peculiar situations where our primal urges seems to take over.. but there was no flight in my mind so the fight was well interesting to say the least.
To have so much blood drained made me lightheaded afterwards and thank the goddess he was not mortal anymore.

And then he becomes all shy and apologetic afterwards. I cant help but to adore the boyish charms that give him when he does not know how to act or what to say around me.

Afterwards he agreed to the blood ritual but it I did not tell him the whole truth about it, now we will see how this plays out... I sure as the nine hells am gonna tease him with it...

When I was looking at a new outfit at the civic festhall later on, I could not help teas him with it and peak his interest and he did come and find me. Seemingly he was babysitting some fletchling, to keep her out of trouble but he managed to sneak away fro a little bit.
And he did seem to enjoy the outfit rather much, so now I will just need to find out when I want to use it.

Seems my master has begun to trade at the bazaar. I must admit it is a good way to attract peoples attention...

The next cycle Laz asked for my time again. Wanting me to come find him at the Bottle and Jug. Even though it was clear he had something in store, he was so easy to tease and he became all flustered.
He asked me to follow him and he took me to limbo, to a monistary there.

It scares me what semms to have started between us... Why does he effect me so? I tried to take his mind of this when he started to ask questions i do not want to answer...

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Book I - Page 5

Seems master has another new toy but I have been feeling under the weather and Laz has been keeping his distance always some excuse.
Master was sweet and tried to cheer me up and it helped a little but I went to the gatehouse to be left alone. It is a good place to just sit and write.

Laz comes and find s me.. He is getting rather good at that...
Seems he had become one out of three arena champions and now everyone in the city knows of him and wants his time... And he is unsure of how to accomplish the next trial, which is on the elemental plain of earth maybe.

Who does his master feel the need to tamper with his memories?
What is he so afraid of regarding me?
My goals are not to his knowledge...

When I asked if I should just stay away he at least told me that that was not what he wished for.
He told me he wanted me... That when we were alone nothing else mattered...
But it is clear he is unsure of what role master plays in all of this.

How can I make him understand?

But to think that he was afraid that I would see him as needy or be frightened of him. He clearly doesn't know who he is dealing with...
I am afraid he got to close to sense my emotions, the ones I try to hide so deeply, so afraid that he will see, because I am afraid that if they surface to much all will be destroyed...

What wexes me most is I never know where I have him.. or us...
He told me I have a sway over him but I certainly do not feel in any way secure in my position when it comes to him...

It is strange that apparently humans do not want the truth from each other but rather live in ignorant bliss... I have never understood the human nature  much and this only eludes me more...
I was created a creature of purity one that can never tell a lie, now I have learned to bend the truth but some part of what I was created to be still lingers inside me... behind the darkness...

I don't understand why he frets the future and something that might come to pass, so much... Why not just enjoy the here and now.. enjoy me?

I liked to be dominant towards him but before he left when he pulled me close ad kissed me deep and wantingly... I was glad he was called away by his master or else I would have been his in so many ways...

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Book I - Page 4

Helena seems quiet indulge full and I would indeed like to see that show of hers at some point but O think she belives it could lead to more.. and here she will be sorely dissapointed.

Laz was at the inn.. I think it the first time I have seen him here since the cycle in the gambling den.

But he ignored me... So I found my distraction else were... Will he not be seen with me anymore?

Maybe there is someone else taking up his time and makes him not wanting to be seen with me?

Never mind at least I could get him out of my mind when I went to my master.

He took me to the city of Brass which lies on the elemental plane of fire and to an inn there... He really got my mind off Laz and it seemed for a while as it once were...

Then all went to the hells. I was on my way to the city of Brass again as i really like it there and again I bump into Laz, the he shows me a feather he had taken back from when he broke my wing and when he didn't want to give it back I became furious... I hope he never understood what my anger covered for... When I felt I needed to leave or do something stupid he followed me towards the city, through the elemental plain of fire... Helena was on her way there as well so I could keep my mind on her but then he goes and nearly dies from the heat... Does he now know that I could not just let him die even after what he had done? The betrayal?

I took him back to Sigil and we talked and to my great joy he gave me the feather back... But to see him broken like that... Why did that hurt me so? Is it all just a ruse because I am falling for it...
I asked him to follow me and he did more like a zombie than anything.
We went to the the campsite at the gatehouse, where they begin to talk.as Laz is in a pore state.

He is so afraid to lose himself.. to loose his feelings and emotions like he has lost the feeling of his body... I understand him fully... To be without that which defines me.

Are vampires just empty shells only driving forth because of some dark primal urge; the hunger and nothing more? I have never read about a vampire without feelings in such a way because they all had goals and drives, lust for power is still lust... If you were without feeling you would not care for anything... or anyone...

In his ramblings and anger he said he cared for me? Why does he care? What have I become in his eyes? And why do I care about all of this?

All this confusing and his whining made me angered and hurt... The he dared to try and use his powers to control me... No one has ever tried that and lived... except for one...

He pushed me to far and I fell into the rage so easily... But I know now he wanted what happened next. I can still feel my hand around his throat and I know he could have stopped me but he didn't, he NEEDED it... Lost in his own despair over his situation...

The feel of the whip lashing against him made me almost as euphoric as him... It has been a long time since torment lashed from my hands.

But inn all of this he made me slip more than once telling him more than I wanted, I can only pray to the goddess that he didn't catch it in his own state.

My angered turned to pleasure... Pleasure at feeling the whip lashing against him... Pleasure at the knowledge that he wanted this and that I could again give him what he longed for and what he craved... As a maiden of pain, a mistress of pleasure... ALL in me sparked to life.. Like blowing at smoldering embers and having them roar to life.

When I felt him try to dominate me I wanted to know what he wanted from me.. So I let him think it had worked... He never tells anything.. maybe this could give me some clarity...

I told him everything though only the half truths of it.. Telling him the whole would give him to much power over me...

I told him what was in my heart; about the hunger, the magnetic pull i feel when he is near and the fact that don't think I could ever kill him unless something were to change drastically...

But now he knows what the two things i desire most are... and those two are one and the same...

I returned the feather to him along with a new from my other wing.

One feather that symbolizes what we have had and one that symbolizes what can be.. both freely given.

He made a promise on his own behalf that he would keep me safe and he used something to bind his promise...

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Book I - Page 3

This day Laz finds me at the bazaar as well and asked me to come see a new place he had found.

It is so sweet how he gets excited by the facts that he can be the first to show me things... places..

Like the other cycle with Limbo.
It seems it is the elemental plain of air, but to get there we needed to go through celestia... It was hard being so close to my former home and it stirred SO many memories. Laz was sad that he had not thought upon this and this got me in a better mood for the time being.

I cannot seem to tolerated the bright light there anymore, it annoys my eyes.

Ohh well I will deal with the little rapture later...

We explored a little portion of the plane... a city there... And ended up at the bathhouse again... water... Well thinks quickly turned in that direction... I like how he can play so rough when he is normally so gentle.

Maybe we need to visit the elemental plain of water once...

Afterwards I meet master at his shop and when we close off we ran into a little new acquaintance of his.. or business partner it would seem. A gnome named Bocci who was talking with some bard I think she was. Funny she was all a flutter over Altair so I had could not hold my tongue though all I said was still true, it was fun to see her face when she heard.
who was talking with this female halfwit who's name I never cached. Think she might have been a bard though.

/A